Mar 082013
 
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Can you spot an abuser? Are you sure?

Back in 2010 I came across the book “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft. It was eye opening – especially because in it Bancroft writes persuasively that abusers have a thinking problem rather than an anger problem. They think that their wives/girlfriends/partners are their property and they get angry whenever their “property” doesn’t behave as such. This book, written for a secular audience, includes some excellent “parables” that describe how abusers develop and what they have to do to change.

Since then I’ve discovered more books and web sites dealing with this subject and it was especially enlightening to read material on abuse in a Christian context. I now realize that several of the counseling situations I’ve been in actually involved an abusive spouse (usually, although not always the husband).

I’m not finished exploring this very important subject, but here is some of what I’ve learned already:

      • Abuse isn’t always physical – emotional abuse can do great harm without leaving physical wounds.
      • Abusers have more of a thinking problem than an anger problem.
      • Abusers are often very charming. This is how they lure their victims in the first place.
      • In church abusers often masquerade as loving, faithful, godly, mature believers while their wives and/or children suffer in the privacy of their home.
      • Traditional marriage counseling is generally ineffective with abusers.
      • Many pastors don’t realize that God permits divorce for abuse victims.
      • Abusers have a lot in common with the “fool” described in the book of Proverbs.

You can find links to resources on abuse (including the ones I’ve mentioned above) at our Community Blog on the Relationships Problems Page:

        http://blogs.lifechurchboston.org/community/relationships/problems/

Sep 272011
 
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I first saw it on Facebook: a link to “The Elizabeth Warren Quote Every American Needs To See” on MoveOn.org. A Google search revealed that this quote from the newly announced Massachusetts senate candidate was rapidly spreading across the internet. I eventually traced it to a video and transcription on the rumproast blog. Eventually Talking Points Memo picked up the story.

The Quote

“I hear all this, you know, ‘Well, this is class warfare, this is whatever,’” Warren said. “No. There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own — nobody.

“You built a factory out there? Good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police-forces and fire-forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn’t have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory — and hire someone to protect against this — because of the work the rest of us did.

“Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific, or a great idea. God bless — keep a big hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is, you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.” – Elizabeth Warren on or before 9/18/2011

The Video

What The Bible Says

This was a very concise and straightforward presentation of a truth that should be obvious to any follower of Jesus Christ. It brings to mind some very striking Bible passages:

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